This is just wrong. It's

This is just wrong. It's going to be a "virtual version" of the show? PLEASE! When you cut out the vulgarity, sex toys, and well, SEX, what is left? Fashion? I can watch the Style Network.

They mine as well call it "Lovemaking in the City."

I usually enjoy my 30

I usually enjoy my 30 minute drive to school in the morning. It's a good time for me to think, clear my head, and get ready for the day. And often times, sing.

But today, I most certainly did NOT enjoy it. As a result, I had SERIOUS road rage. Here's why:

1) I don't care how freaking late you are because of the construction on 86th and Meridian, you do NOT pass a school bus while it's starting to flash its RED LIGHTS.

2) THE LEFT LANE IS SUPPOSED TO GO FASTER THAN THE RIGHT LANE!!! If you are getting passed on the RIGHT side, you are going too SLOWLY. Get the hell out of our way!

3) When the light turns green, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GOOOOO!!! Stop talking on your phone, putting on eyeliner, or wiping your hands from that Cinnabon you just shoved in your face. Step on it!

4) See 2)

5) Do NOT honk at me when I stop for a mother and her 4-year-old child that are in the middle of the street. Yes, she's stupid for venturing out and just banking on the fact that some sap will stop for her. But I am that sap, and I do not think that I should speed by and put her child in danger for her stupidity.

6) And finally, when the signs say NO LEFT TURN from 7 a.m.-9 a.m., guess what???? DO NOT TURN LEFT!! It slows down what is supposed to be the FASTER lane of traffic (see 2) and well, IT IS AGAINST THE LAW!!!

Lord, I need a Prozac.

Boy, they teach them young

Boy, they teach them young about the "high life" down under.

Why do I have a

Why do I have a feeling that some frat boys somewhere know what happened here?

Tender love is blind It

Tender love is blind
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation

UPDATE: Ok guys, it's been SIX HOURS since I posted this and no one has even attempted a guess. I'll throw you a bone: think boobs.

I used to have a

I used to have a lot of respect for Jessica Simpson: 1) She has an amazing singing voice and great range; 2) I respected her decision to abstain from sex until marriage and the example she set for young girls.

HOWEVER, I must embarrassingly admit that I've caught a few episodes of her new show on MTV called "Newlyweds," where cameras follow her and her husband (Nich Lachey of 98 Degrees fame) around and "capture" the ups and downs of their new marriage--and frankly, she makes me gag.

I've never heard such spoiled, selfish, and most of all, STUPID, words come out of anyone's mouth.

Here are a few of my favorites.

For those of you who

For those of you who haven't seen the powerful movie, "Boys Don't Cry" starring Hillary Swank, it is literally one of the only movies that leaves me feeling physically ill and nauseated at how sick and cruel people can be.

It's the story of Brandon Teena , 21, who was born a woman with the name Teena Brandon, but lived as a man in southeast Nebraska. Prosecutors said he was killed in a farmhouse on New Year's Eve 1993, along with two witnesses, because Teena had reported being raped by Lotter and another man after they discovered his biological identity. Lotter received three death sentences and awaits execution.

He got some more bad news yesterday. May he rot in hell.

To add to the new

To add to the new lingo that has surrounded my posts this week, I found this article. It doesn't involve people who fall asleep right after sex (men), but involves people who fall asleep DURING sex (men who need smacked).

What the hell?

Like men need another excuse to be, well, MEN. I can see it now: "Baby, I didn't mean to sleep with my hot, silicone-infested 23-year-old secretary. I was asleep. I have a condition."

Yeah, it's called being horny.

They have theme weddings, theme

They have theme weddings, theme baby showers, why not have theme funerals?

This Las Vegas funeral home has the right idea: If you gotta go, go with flare!

Are you a man

Are you a man who enjoys shopping, snappy shoes and a crisply starched buttondown? Have you ever frosted your hair or bought a pair of low rise bootcuts? Do you prefer a good martini over a sudsy draft? You could be metrosexual!

No fellas, that's not a new term for a man who likes to do the wild thing in modes of public transportation.

Take this quiz and find out!

I have a friend that

I have a friend that works in the magazine industry in New York. In an effort to keep me cool (knowing that I'm in Indiana and fashion and coolness arrives here 3 years late), she gave me a head's up regarding new slang being spoken in NYC. I thought I'd share with you:

spenny:
Pricey; short for "expensive." (Sure I like that place, but it's kinda spenny.)

NUMP/NUWT:
Obnoxious party-invite acronyms, as in No Ugly Men, Please/No Ugly Women, Thanks.

e-mauling:
Stalking someone via e-mail.

guyatus:
A hiatus from guys. (Thanks, but no thanks. I'm kind of on guyatus.)

scum:
Self-Centered Urban Male. Know any?

fifty-footer:
Someone who looks really attractive from 50 feet away. Closer examination reveals ...
(Flashback to the movie Clueless, where Cher says, "she's such a Monet.") Similar concept.

Now I can stop using words like "bling bling" and "flossin'."

I've been getting some flack

I've been getting some flack for the release of this statistic: Yes, my little old undergrad university with its approximately 2,300 students tucked away in nowhere Indiana ranks with the big boys in terms of partying.

But before you write DePauw off your list, let me try to balance the scales a bit.

1) You may not know that DPU ranks in the top tier of America’s national liberal arts colleges, according to US News & World Report’s 2004 rankings.
2) The report also ranks “Great Schools at Great Prices,” and again this year rates DePauw as among the best values in its category. Using a formula that factors in the ratio of quality to price, the percentage of all undergraduates receiving grants meeting financial need, and average discount, DePauw is 22nd among national liberal arts colleges.
3) 72% of DePauw classes have fewer than 20 students enrolled (I could go on for hours about the benefits of this statistic).
4) US News also notes that DePauw is second among all of America's colleges and universities in the percentage of students who study abroad (89%). (I can't express how much value I received from international travel.)
5) DePauw is ranked eighth among over 800 liberal arts colleges as the source of top business executives, according to Standard & Poor's.

So, all I'm saying is, take some time to look past one statistic when picking out a college. I wanted a place that allowed me creative freedom, a place that would kick my ass in the classroom, and a place to let loose.

DePauw was all of those things and more. Work hard, play hard.

They had to do a

They had to do a scientific study to come up with this conclusion? PLEASE! You could have just asked US!

Daily routines are important, but

Daily routines are important, but weekly ones are as well. There are two things I do every Sunday, that I think are imperative to your overall beauty upkeep.

1) I exfoliate my face every Sunday night before I go to bed. It gets off the dead skin cells from the week and makes my skin very smooth. I've noticed an overall change in the appearance of my skin from doing this. Note: I suggest doing this at the end of the day, because I always look a bit red afterwards.

Recommended product: DDF Strawberry Almond Face and Body Polish -- It's a little pricey, but I'm still on the same bottle I've had for 3 months. A little bit goes a long way.

2) I deep clean my hair. I have very thick hair, and in order to keep it under control, I have to use a smoother, pomade, and hairspray. All of this "stuff" can build up on your hair. Because I use a milder shampoo for color-treated hair during the week, there is a need to deep clean it once a week.

Recommended product: d:fi Extreme Cleansing Shampoo -- Available at most salons. Note: do NOT use this product every day, or your hair will become stripped of its essential oil.
Costsaver Tip: Pantene makes a very similar (and cheaper) alternative called Daily Clarifying Shampoo.

Now here's a woman who

Now here's a woman who really sinks her teeth into reading.

At least it was a learning experience for one of the librarians, Debbie Barry, who stated, "[w]hat I should have done was yanked her hair and sat on her, but I didn’t think of it at the time.”

Hindsight is always 20/20, Deb.

Although I'm a fan of

Although I'm a fan of good, tight harmony, Lori over at Right We Are has a great post explaining why the Dixie Chicks continually make me suppress my gag reflex.

This "we're so abused" crap is for the birds. Or apparently, the chicks.

I'm not sure which "exposed

I'm not sure which "exposed weapon" would be more traumatizing to a child.

"When I was a kid,

"When I was a kid, I played on the street. I always loved illusion."

Hint: Put on your Broadway caps.

Ok, 50 minutes down of

Ok, 50 minutes down of the Emmy broadcast and here are my thoughts: EVERYBODY DOES NOT LOVE RAYMOND!

8:57 p.m.--What the HELL is going on with Paula Abdul's hair? It's Miss America meets the Beehive. And that tiara thing? Awful.

9:15 p.m.--Very bad and stupid Rumsfeld imitation. Overdone.

9:30 p.m.--Debra Messing looks FABULOUS as usual.

9:48 p.m.--SO glad to see Door to Door has been winning awards. It truly was one of the best movies I saw last year. You should really try to catch it or rent it. As I'm writing, William H. Macy just won for this movie. Truly deserved. This story is about a humbled and heroic man, and Macy portrayed him beautifully. The show made me laugh and cry--the sign of a true drama.

10:10 p.m.--Note to Damon Wayans--have someone pronounce the nominees' names for you before you ever try this presenting thing again. You were terrible.

10:51 p.m. We sure did lose a lot of unbelievable talent this year.

10:58 p.m.--Dakota Fanning is the cutest little thing EVER!

11:00 p.m.--When you go up against Edie Falco, you're going to lose. Don't buy a dress. Don't even show up.

11:02 p.m.--When you go up against James Gandolfini, see above (only insert tux for dress).

11:11 p.m.--EVERYBODY DOES NOT LOVE RAYMOND!

Ok, so I dig awards

Ok, so I dig awards shows. Do I think the best talent is always nominated? Absolutely not. This year, I think Scrubs was totally robbed.

However, I just can't help loving the Red Carpet coverage and cheering for my favorite people and shows. Tonight I'll be watching (if I get home from the law library in time) the 55th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at 8 p.m. Eastern on Fox. This year, I'm rooting for Six Feet Under, Sex and the City, and Will and Grace.

I'm also always intrigued whether Martin Sheen will take yet another opportunity to make an ass out of himself.

Is there nothing sacred and

Is there nothing sacred and safe from the teen pop crapnomenon? Click here to see what I'm ranting about.

Next thing you know they'll be tapping in to the reality show craze. "Next, on Virgin or Vixen?--will Susie give in to Satan?"

It's not always cool to do the right thing.

There's nothing more beautiful than

There's nothing more beautiful than fall in Indiana. It's my favorite season--by far. This weekend marks the end of summer, and while it was a blast, I'm pumped for fall. Today there isn't a cloud in the sky, and it's a brisk 61 degrees right now (supposed to warm up to 70).

Football weather is upon us, and I'm sorry for all you SEC fans out there, but football weather does NOT include sweating to death in a dress! It's blue jeans and a sweater (preferably red for IU or black for DePauw). And while football games are fun, fall gets us one step closer to the season of the real sport.

I've never seen the leaves change with a more vibrant array of color than in Indiana (more in southern Indiana). It really is breathtaking. Driving with the sunroof down the curvy roads of Brown County in fall just lifts the spirit.

And of course, who could not love pumpkins? I'm a big fan of raking leaves and carving pumpkins! And if you haven't had roasted pumpkin seeds, you really are missing out.

And hayrides! Hayrides are great. Sit next to the boy you've had a crush on and drink your warm apple cider and look at stars. It just doesn't get any better!

Sorry to bring you on that little Robert Frost moment, but I needed a diversion from my trusts and estates reading.

I'm all for trying the

I'm all for trying the newest, chicist, and the hippest. But this, is too much even for me!

I'll stick to my grande non-fat vanilla latte, thank you.

This is why I still

This is why I still don't like to fly.

I like the line that says the psycho was "subdued by passengers." How PC. I'm betting they beat the living daylights out of him. That's what I would do.

Ok, PLEASE tell me someone

Ok, PLEASE tell me someone out there has seen the movie Sideout. I'm actually embarrassed to be mentioning that I LOVE IT! It has an awful cast (Courtney Thorne-Smith, C. Thomas Howell, that scruffy guy from Thirtysomething, and that man who played the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's) and a terrible script (actual line: "I'll see you in the sand").

So, you may be asking yourselves what I could possibly like about it. Well, it's about a future law student who decides to play pro-beach volleyball instead. I started playing volleyball right about the time when the move came out (1990), and I was a player for the next 7 years. Now, I'm just a fan. It also had cameos by some of my favorite male pro-beach players. Plus, the movie's soundtrack has the song "Bushfire" by the B-52's in it--which of course, ROCKS.

I hadn't seen the movie in years and I sat down with my Stouffer's Skillet Sensation garlic chicken tonight (yeah, it wasn't much of a cooking night), and it was on one of my random movie channels!!

WHOO HOO! Guilty pleasures are cool.

Check out the 2-star review, here.

In Athens, Georgia, a jury

In Athens, Georgia, a jury awarded $150,000 to a woman who was left mostly bald after a visit to a salon. Dave, stay AWAY from this place!

This may become a new theory of liability under the law: negligent infliction of emotional disTRESS.

HAHAHAHA! I kill me.

Check out these famous Mensa

Check out these famous Mensa members. (To be a member, your IQ must be in the top 2% of the population).

Some of them, are actually Hollywood celebrities. Guess it goes to show, you CAN be a celebrity and have a brain.

And I'm sure no one is surprised to see one member of the list--none other than Stormin' Norman!

I don't dispute that this

I don't dispute that this article raises some valid concerns about child obesity and what contributes to it. However, I remember a time when I ate Funyons and a Nutty Bar every day for lunch (sorry Mom, I know you thought I was buying a nice turkey sandwich and an apple with that lunch money) and I was a thin kid. Now, I fully understand that my metabolism was QUITE different then, but I think I stayed thin mostly because my parents got me off my ass and into activities. I had volleyball practices to go to, voice lessons, musical rehearsals, student council meetings, academic team meetings (yeah, I was a minor nerd), etc.

Get these kids off the couches and you won't have to worry so much about what they eat! Sports=good. Video games=bad.

Well, it seems that I've

Well, it seems that I've reached the 2,000 mark. As of right now there have been 2,022 hits to my blog and it has been in existence for 16 days. That's about 125 hits a day.

For all you "seasoned" bloggers, you're probably thinking, "Oh, that's cute. I get a million hits a day."

But, what should I make of my numbers? Which category do I fall in?
1) Wow. That's great. Keep on truckin' lil camper. (suggestions would be welcomed)
2) That's ok. You could do some things to improve like...???? (suggestions would be welcomed).
3) You're a loser. No one gives a shit what you're talking about. (Go to hell).

Break it to me, folks. I can handle it.

Happy, Happy Birthday HEIDI! Martini

Happy, Happy Birthday HEIDI!

Martini on me.

Welcome to the Martinis, Persistence,

Welcome to the Martinis, Persistence, and a Smile beauty tip of the week. It will be weekly (hence the name)--assuming I remember.

My best friend's dad is a dermatologist and has always told me that the best facial cleanser is Cetaphil. So, I've been using it for as long as I can remember. It's light, fragrance free, doesn't lather up and burn your eyes, and ALWAYS gets my eye makeup off.

Costsaver tip: Both Wal-Mart and Osco make their own brand versions of Cetaphil. These brands have the EXACT same ingredients, work exactly the same, and cost $2 less per bottle. I have used them both and like them both. So, you can use the best and save some $$!!

Presidential Candidate General Wesley Clark

Presidential Candidate General Wesley Clark is going to speak at my alma mater, DePauw University in September.

And to think, when I was there I lobbied before the Board of Trustees that we had too many left-wing speakers. Doesn't appear I did much good.

UPDATE: Did anyone hear Clark this morning on the Today show? I've never heard a more uncommitted man in my life! He might be at the debate. When asked about gays in the military, he responded by saying that it might be time for military to re-look at the matter. He's learning fast--never, ever take an absolute stand.

I think every current and future candidate both democrat and republican has visions of "No New Taxes" dancing in their heads.

R Kelly is truly dillusional.

R Kelly is truly dillusional. He said he is misunderstood and judged, UNFAIRLY mind you, because of his recent kiddie porn incident. Here's a quarter R, call someone who cares. Woody Allen maybe?

Secondly, he THEN compares his unfair judgment to--brace yourselves--the unfair treatment of Osama Bin Laden. "Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through." You're making a real strong case for yourself there, R. Compare yourself to a psychotic, cowardly killer. Nice work.

Read about it here.

Read this, but arm yourself

Read this, but arm yourself with Pepto, because you'll vomit. I'm all for giving nice gifts here and there, but this is OUT OF CONTROL!

One more presidential hopeful? It's

One more presidential hopeful? It's starting to look like the CA recall ballot. It seems like a clusterfu#* to me!

(Thanks to Bogs for the

(Thanks to Bogs for the title)

Sung to the tune of "Bye, Bye Love"

Bye, bye J-Lo
Ben was a little slow
But his friends were "in the know"
And you just had to go

Bye, bye Jen
You'll exploit many more men
'Though your ass is a ten
You're loveless in the Bronx again

Lyrics by: Me :)

"Attention, Attention, there's a naked

"Attention, Attention, there's a naked woman rubbing Wesson on herself in aisle 9"

Sam Walton will roll over in his grave.

"She's all that I have

"She's all that I have left, and music is her name."

Make sure you tune in

Make sure you tune in to Sex and the City's pseudo-finale tonight. It's the last episode until January. Tonight's episode could be the first introduction to Carrie's new love interest--Mikhail Baryshnikov.

Wonder if she'll be able to keep up with his fancy footwork in her Manolo's.

Shoes in trees? Only in

Shoes in trees? Only in Indiana.

It's so damn hard to

It's so damn hard to focus on family law reading and law review research when it's a beautiful and sunny day, I'm in a huge reading room with tons of windows looking at the skyline of Indianapolis, Colts fans walking to the game, and Irishfest going on across the street. Music, dancing, and beer or reading up on common law wives--Ah, the choices we must make.

Whether you agreed with his

Whether you agreed with his politics or not, Frank O'Bannon was a kind-hearted, passionate, classy and absolutely loyal public servant and Hoosier. He will be greatly missed.

Well, the parents are in

Well, the parents are in town. I met them for lunch today after my family law class. They're a riot. Mom's spewing info, room numbers, time to meet them next, Dad just sits back and drinks his Killian's. Classic. I just nod and nod and nod.

I'm meeting back up with them in about an hour to go to a party. Some of my law school friends are coming too. The theme is Island/Caribbean/Jimmy Buffet, so I'm decked out in a Hawaiian shirt and black capris. While I love parties for the mingling, I have to share that I'm completely PUMPED about the menu. I know I sound like a complete heifer, but seriously, this food sounds TO DIE FOR. See below:

Shrimp and Oyster Raw Bar, Pig Roast with a Whole Suckling Pig, Tostones with Curry Chicken Salad, Baby Shrimp Salad on Artichoke Leaves

Tortilla Cups with a Smoked Bay Scallop Ceviche, Chicken sates with Grilled Pineapple, Peanut Sauce, Jerk Marinated Red Snapper baked in Banana Leaves, New Zealand Mussels with a Tomato Salsa, Gazpacho Soup in Cucumber Tower, Hearts of Palm and Orange Salad, Imported and, Domestic Cheese, Tamarind Spiced Chicken Salad, Bahamian Style Conch Fritters, Orange Glazed Plantains, Cracked Conch Salad, Purple Potato Salad, Black Bean Rice, Sweet Potatoes, Tropical Fruit

Desserts: Flan, Rice Pudding, Chocolate Banana Tarte, Guava Cheese Cake, Assorted Cookies, Key Lime Pie

I don't even know what half of it is, but I'm gonna stuff it in my face! 2 bands will be playing too! All for $25/person plus cash bar. Not too shabby, eh?

I'll let you know how it is--if I can waddle my soon-to-be fatter ass to the keyboard!

WHY does Hollywood do this?

WHY does Hollywood do this? Michael Keaton IS and should've been the ONLY movie Batman. Val sucked. Clooney (while he IS hot), fell FAR short of Keaton's performance. And now the American Psycho is going to protect Gotham? PLEASE! Check out the story, here.

It's like when they got a new Becky on Roseanne--like we wouldn't freakin' notice--and then the old one came back. We NEED consistency here, folks!

While I can't say that

While I can't say that I was a huge fan of John Ritter's TV work (I was too young for the Three's Company craze), he seemed like a helluva nice guy. What also impressed me about him was his Sonny Bono-esque humor. He was always the butt of the joke, and people were always laughing at him, yet he always delivered with perfection.

He's done much work on Broadway and in Neil Simon productions--to much acclaim. My all-time favorite role of his was in the movie Noises Off (which incidentally was a Broadway play first, although I'm not sure if he was in it). It's a great story, has a great cast, is funny, and I think it's John Ritter in one of his finest performances. Rent it if you get the chance.

A true legend doesn't even

A true legend doesn't even begin to describe Johnny Cash. I truly believe that after June died, his will to hold on left him.

Thank you for the music and the memories, Johnny.

Please feel free to share

Please feel free to share your story with me as I did in the post below.

Also, VodkaPundit, Jay Solo, Dizzy Girl, and Right We Are all have wonderful 9/11 thoughts, tributes, and links.

Tomorrow is not just another

Tomorrow is not just another day. We all know that. Rather than go through and outline how 9/11 unfolded for me, how I felt, how I cried, how I was angry, I'd rather talk to you about my trip to New York City.

October 10, 2001--just a few short weeks after the attacks, my mom, dad, and I flew to NYC. We had had this trip planned for months. See, it was my fall break from law school and my birthday was the 12th, so we decided to celebrate. I booked us tickets for 2 Broadway shows--what was to be my first Broadway theater experience. Mom booked us lunch reservations at Windows on the World, in the World Trade Center, for the day of my birthday. Needless to say, those plans didn't happen.

After the attacks, I never in a million years thought we would go. My mom and I hated flying, and to be quite frank, I was scared to death to go there. We talked about it and decided to go through with it. My dad's quote: "If we can help, even just monetarily as tourists, it's our job as soldiers of a different kind." So, off we went.

Of course security was crazy. We boarded the plane (after my mom had stalked the pilot to make sure he was "ok") and we were 3 of 5 people on it. I was starting to wonder, "were we completely INSANE for doing this?" Too late now. Off we went.

We landed in a ghostown known has La Guardia. No one was there. Our luggage was the ONLY luggage on the carousel. An airport worker we were talking to asked us to stay around and talk for awhile--we were the first people she'd seen in days. We did. About 30 minutes later, we went to go get our cab. Rows of cabs waiting--no people. We had our pick of the lot.

We arrived at Times Square near our hotel. More USA memorabilia than you can imagine. A hush was over the city, and everyone was so thankful that we were there. We ventured out and took a ferry ride around Manhattan. To my right--lady Liberty. To my left--mass destruction. Words can't describe.

On our walk back to the hotel, we passed many firestations. We stopped at them all, looked at all the pictures and notes, and cried. The Broadway shows were not played before a full house--maybe half at best. But they were still amazing to me.

Another time we were talking through Times Square, a firetruck drove down the street coming back from a run. Everyone, and I mean everyone stopped what they were doing, dropped their bags, purses, etc., and clapped, whistled, and cheered. More tears.

I wanted to see the NBC studios. We got tickets and took the tour. It was great. That was the day of my birthday. Instead of Windows on the World, we had lunch at Tavern on the Green in Central Park. We also took a carriage ride. It was wonderful. My mom went back to the hotel to nap, so dad and I went to a great Irish pub we found. We were watching the news and saw tons of police at Rockefeller Plaza. To our amazement, the anchor said NBC (where we had JUST a few hours before) was shut down for a possible anthrax attack. Was this trip a TOTAL mistake? I had a sick feeling in my stomach from that moment on.

Our last night there, we had dinner at an amazing restaurant at the base of the Brooklyn Bridge. It was a beautiful site--the NYC skyline at night. But there was a massive missing part that no one needed to discuss. The New Yorkers there were awesome, and we sang w/ the piano player well into the night. "New York, New York" and "New York State of Mind." I felt wonderful being with them.

I had never felt so relieved get back to Indiana. But I knew this would be the most necessary trip I ever went on--ever.

This was a short version of my accounts. I didn't want to bore you. I have many emotions with regard to tomorrow. What if the attacks had been a month later? Would I have been in the World Trade Center? And I think I have more anger than some...because while I want things to end peacefully, I'm left thinking and singing a line from Toby Keith's song: "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way."

Yes it is. And I'm proud of that.

My karaoke days could be

My karaoke days could be numbered. I know, it's tragic. Lawyers can take the fun out of everything! Find out why, here.

So I just watched my

So I just watched my two favorite shows--Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and Sex in the City (re-airing of Sunday night's episode). I MUST share with you my two favorite quotes from the two shows. I was laughing so hard I almost chuckled myself right off the futon.

From Queer--"Spa treatments are expensive. You know what else is expensive? Divorce." --said by fashion god Carson to "The Unibrow."

From Sex--"You're fucking a hot, black doctor and Steve has a tampon up his nose." --said by Samantha to Miranda (Circumstances too hard to explain).

They don't write 'em like that on the major networks.

Speaking of clues, you would

Speaking of clues, you would have thought they would have gotten a clue the first damn time. 'Fraid not. Read here.

They actually looked in the

They actually looked in the mirror and thought, "Gee, this looks good. I actually should exit the house and subject everyone in the free world to my outfit."

She Mack-trucked over a flamingo on her way in.

Only Cher should attempt an outfit like this.

"Being a virgin was great, but now that I'm married, I want to be a whore."

Nice try Kelly, but NO ONE is THAT desperate.

Screw law school--these people need stylists ASAP and I'm willing to relocate!

What the HELL is wrong

What the HELL is wrong with this guy??? In another similar article, Miss/Mr. Manson said in no way did he think his groinal gestures were humiliating. Ummmmm, ok. What is humiliating then, Mar?

Is anyone the least bit

Is anyone the least bit perturbed about this law? Early release for prisoners is bad enough! But rushing through high school to help with an overcrowding problem? My simple solution: Build more schools.

UPDATE: This is a MUCH

UPDATE: This is a MUCH more serious situation than previous reports indicated. The Indianpolis Star is reporting a possible brain hemorrhage. Reports are also stating that lawmakers are researching state law and how a transfer of power would unfold.

Uncle Jesse and Dharma heading

Uncle Jesse and Dharma heading to Broadway? It appears so. John Stamos and Jenna Elfman will be the new headliners in the muscial Nine. The show won several Tony awards, due mostly (from what I hear) to a rivoting performance by Antonio Banderes. Full story, here.

Speaking of Antonio, his ditzy wife is also making a Broadway appearance. She'll be appearing in Chicago. Full story, here. I suppose she'll have to cover up that ugly-ass tattoo of hers.

On this note, what do all of you think of movie/TV actors making the Broadway cross-over? I usually have an overwhelming sense of "BAD IDEA." Rosie can't sing and just because she's famous doesn't mean she should be in a Broadway musical. But, there have been some GREAT cross-overs--Brian Dennehy in Death of a Salesman comes to mind. I personally think it shows SO much more talent to do live theater than film or TV--and it shows that the actors have the balls to put themselves out there.

Your thoughts?

I hope he's OK.

I hope he's OK.

Greetings, all! I made it

Greetings, all!

I made it home safely from the Peach state. Coming home from trips is such a drag--it's hot because I turned off the AC, I have to unpack, and I have to do laundry. Yuck. But, it makes you glad you got to go in the first place. I had a great time (as usual). The ballgame was, well, a football game. But I was nice and buzzed so it was bearable. The 5 extra large Papa John's pizzas for our post-game fun were QUITE needed, I must say.

Today was nice because I actually got to spend some alone time with my sweetie. We were with large groups of people most of the weekend. We walked around downtown Athens (there are some cute clothing stores there that I like) and shopped. Much to our HORROR our favorite little chocolate shop which Dave (my boyfriend) says has been in Athens since he was a boy and where we always buy our little treat--dark chocolate covered espresso beans--WAS CLOSED! Not just not open yet--shut down forever. We just stood there looking at the brown paper-covered walls with our mouths open. Travesty, I tell you. He got me to the airport in plenty of time, and as usual, I shed a couple of tears when I said goodbye. I'm a schmo.

My flight home wasn't too bad--45 minutes late (which consequently made me miss Sex in the City ), but no complaints here because it didn't fall out of the sky. :) I sat next to a psychiatry resident. He kept telling me I needed to learn to meditate before I fly next. Thanks, buddy. You went to med school and through residency to tell me that? Impressive.

On an unrelated note, I found out I passed the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam (Ethics portion of the Bar Exam) I took in the beginning of August. Whew. (And yes, it's a little more advanced than the "Don't get it on with your client" rule. )

Well, I must answer some email and hit the hay.

Ok, I've pooled, I've showered,

Ok, I've pooled, I've showered, I've put on a cute little outfit, and I've watched 2 episodes of "I Love the 70's" on VH1. If he doesn't hurry up, I'm gonna break into the whiskey. More bourbon and whiskey than you can imagine. Gotta love the south. No milk, break, or snacks, of course. Gotta love men.

Hi everyone! I hope you

Hi everyone! I hope you all are having a great Friday. As you can tell, I made it through the flight! :)

I'm hanging out alone at my boyfriend's apartment. He had a legal aid meeting/assignment this afternoon that he couldn't reschedule. So, I think I'm going to head to the pool for a while.

It's been a pretty relaxing time thus far. Yesterday he picked me up from the airport and we drove back to Athens. We then went to some intramural fields on UGA's campus for his flag football game. Surprisingly enough, the law school team won--I think those frat boys on the other team were expecting huge nerds with no coordination. SURPRISE!! :) Then we went and got some Mexican food (which took for-freaking-ever and I was starving by that point), and came back to his apartment and had a few drinks with his friends. The rest of the group headed to the bar, but we decided to stay in and rest up for tonight and tomorrow. We're going out to dinner tonight and then the bars--I was told to be prepared "to do some damage."

Then tomorrow morning we have to get up and start tailgating at NINE for the UGA football game. Can someone PLEASE explain to me why the girls down here where dresses to football games?? It's crazy to me. But, regardless of whether I agree w/ the policy, I have my strapless red sundress in my suitcase for the game. It's stupid, but I'll do it.

Oh, and one more thing. My boyfriend's roommate was giving me shit today because I don't know how to fix breakfast--I eat cereal and my philosophy is if you want something else, march your ass in the kitchen and use those hands God gave you. Quote from him: "A girl's in the apartment, and I'm not getting any ass OR breakfast. What the hell?"

Is it bad that I'm not more skilled? (Don't be hard on him--he was joking). But still, am I retarded?

There IS hope ladies! Click

There IS hope ladies! Click here, to find out why.

Amen on the nosehair!

Hi all! I'm about to

Hi all! I'm about to head to school for class and then to the airport. Sing with me now..."I'm leavin' on a jetplane..." I actually know when I'll be back again, though--Sunday night. I'm heading to Atlanta (and then driving to Athens) to visit my sweetie.

Wish me luck. I absolutely HATE flying. Even though I fly all the time, my fear and nervousness never gets any better--especially during take-off. UGH! Makes me sick just thinking about it. So anyway, if you happen to glance at the clock at 1:30 Indiana time, send me some sweet vibes. Meanwhile, I'll be gripping the armrests and deep breathing.

I'll blog from GA! :)

Freak accident doesn't even begin

Freak accident doesn't even begin to describe this. There's no amount of Tylenol out there to cure this guy's headache. UNBELIEVABLE!

How great is this law?

How great is this law? Call your legislators and get this going in your state!

No, I don't want to enlarge the size of my manmeat.
No, I don't care that I won a "dream" vacation to Mexico.
No, I don't need extended quality vehicle coverage.

Now, if we could only get a No Pop-up Ads Law--I'd be in heaven.

I'm only 6 years older

I'm only 6 years older than the kids polled in this article, and I sure as hell know (and furthermore, appreciate) who Paul Newman is.

NEWSFLASH KIDS (AND PARENTS): Before you allow yourself or your kids to go to see J-Lo pretend to act in a movie, rent Cat on a Hot Tin Roof first.

You like it better in

You like it better in France, Mr. Depp? STAY THERE!! For what I'm ranting about, click here.

Intelligent statements coming from a guy with a "Wino Forever" tattoo. (Which of course, used to say "Winona Forever" until that little psychotic lovefest broke off).

Maripat, over at Right We

Maripat, over at Right We Are, has a GREAT post and link about Bowling for Bullshit--or whatever that production he made was called. Check it out, here.

These people are f-ing NUTS.

These people are f-ing NUTS. I loved the quote from a Scientology quack-job stating that the contract was "self-explantory" and that there was NO room for confusion because those who sign it know what the English laguage means.

Honey, if people knew what the English language meant, we'd have no lawsuits--EVER.

Does this remind anyone else

Does this remind anyone else of some of the twisted things Kevin Spacey's character made his victims do in the movie Seven?

"Perhaps John Doe (somewhere) has the upper hand."

I hope everyone is ready

I hope everyone is ready for an exciting and insightful "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" tonight. It's always hysterical when the Fab 5 are in full force! For your planning, it's on at 10 pm (9 pm central--that's us, IN folk) on Bravo.

Two props to two queers: Queer Eye's food guru Ted Allen spent some part of his life in Carmel, Indiana. Hometown boy does quite well for himself. Maybe he'll move back and open a FAB restaurant! One can dream. And the show's culture vulture Jai Rodriguez was in Broadway's "Rent." Always gotta give your props to a Broadway performer.

Tune in! It's worth it--I PROMISE! :)

Let me know what you think of the show by commenting below.

So what's this I hear

So what's this I hear about an asteroid perhaps hitting Earth in 2014? It didn't really register until I read of the potential destruction of "20 million Hiroshima atomic bombs." Damn. That's some serious power. Let's hope Jupiter kicks it off course--or Superman. Makes me want to go back and train at SpaceCamp (yes, I went to SpaceCamp). Who's with me?

On a related sidenote, I find it amusing that we discovered this asteroid and only told our good buddies the Brits! Screw the rest of the world! We're strarting construction on our underground villages ASAP. France will be the LAST to know! (and rightfully so).

Rustic and ruff John (Cougar)

Rustic and ruff John (Cougar) Mellencamp has a new album. I've heard great things about it. I've always been a fan--I can't say I agree with his politics--but you have to put that aside. This man is talented. Check out more, here.

And, as a fellow Hoosier, I like to claim "Small Town" as my themesong.

Just read the most boring

Just read the most boring (not to mention, confusing) assignment in secured transactions involving creditor's remedies in bankruptcy. Does anyone out there ACTUALLY enjoy this crap? Note to self: stay far, far away from bankruptcy law.

I am going to try

I am going to try to swim to school now. For those of you who don't know--Indianapolis is flooded! Broke a 100-year rainfall record!

Wish me luck...

LORD! I just watched The

LORD! I just watched The Bridges of Madison County. I had seen it before, but GOD, I forgot how emotional it is. Is it not one of the most gut-wrenching love stories??? Wonderful story combined with sweet, well-developed writing and superb acting! Meryl is the bomb! It's one of those "they don't make them like they used to" movies. They just EXUDE love--the rest your imagination can fill in. Well, needless to say, I used too many Kleenexes and felt like a huge shmuck when the credits started rolling.

Question: I remember seeing Bridges when it came out in the theater. I went with my mom, her best friend, and my best friend. My best friend and I were screaming for Meryl to open the car door and run after Clint. My mom and her friend said they didn't want her to, and that she did the right thing. Why the differences in opinion? Age? Naivete? Suckers for love?

Enough of this estrogen-fest. Must find a comedy...

I just love watching tennis!

I just love watching tennis! I was quite sad to see Pete's retirement, though. He always played with grace and heart. He was a class act all the way. I grew up watching Pete, and have to admit, got a little teary-eyed at his goodbye ceremony. He will be missed.

McEnroe continues to entertain over the microphone. Tact? Nah, who needs that? He knows what he's talking about and doesn't beat around the bush. I like that. Bud is a little much. And what's with his ties? I think he scares off most of the Europeans from talking to him.

The Blake v. Federer match was great yesterday. Too many deuces to count--stunning play. Both of their net play was superb. And not too bad for eye-candy spotting. Those two are lookers!

And of course, you just have to LOVE him. He keeps the spark in tennis and no one can ever fill his shoes.

I'd like to give a

I'd like to give a great, big HAPPY BIRTHDAY shoutout to my best friend since I was 2 1/2 (she was 1 1/2), Christina! She's a law student in Bloomington, and I hope she's not doing ANY homework today! Love you, Stinky! :)

I'm working on a copyright

I'm working on a copyright law assignment. I'll post soon--as well as update links. Hope you're having more fun than I am.