To fart, or not to fart

Maxim asks women: How long should a guy wait to fart in front of you?

Survey SAYS:

Until he’s my boyfriend: 39%

Forever, if at all possible: 34%

At least until dinner’s over: 13%

Until we live together: 12%

--I understand that it happens, but I'd have to say I'm in the 34%.

Tara Reid Dating Online?

Sad, lonely and looking for a friend? At one point, you may have been able to e-mail Tara Reid, 28, on Friendster.com.

Through a series of links, if you're closely connected enough to Tara, you could find Reid on the popular site and learn that she's "Interested in Meeting People for: Dating, Serious Relationship (Men), Friends, Activity Partners."

Her profile also listed her interests as "acting, shopping, spending money, vacations, having fun, music, going out to lunch, dinner and clubs, and going on vacations like St. Tropez, Sardinia, Aspen and others."

Reid's profile was up until June 18, when Star People called her rep for a comment. About two hours later, Reid pulled it down. Too bad -- Star People really loved the pictures she posted of herself from the men's mag Stuff.

--I bet I know what kind of "activity partners" she's looking for.

Thanks for the tip, Josh.

Who are these people?

Who are these people and what the hell do they buy?

No Class

There's being late for court, and there's being late for court.

Leave it to Courtney Love to do the latter--she showed up more than five hours late to a Manhattan court appearance, and was scolded by a judge who said her tardiness was grounds for arrest.

Stripping Spaces?

"Trading Spaces" star Paige Davis got down and dirty at the Broadway Bares event at Roseland Ballroom last weekend.

Photos of her mid-strip are in this week's Star magazine, showing Davis in a sheer thong, legs open, with men's hands mauling her breasts.

--Guess there's a vixen under that cotton candy exterior.

I Ain't No Betty Crocker

I have a feeling I'll drive my future husband to this:

A Romanian man faces charges after he tried to blow up his kitchen because his wife was such a lousy cook.

Viorel Leahu, 41, from Todiresti, said he decided to punish his wife for her terrible food.

Esther Blanks

During a concert last week, Madonna made like a blonde and forgot the words to John Lennon's "Imagine."

What makes this especially amusing was that she mentioned before she started the song that the lyrics are wonderful, important, timely — blah blah blah — so much so that she wished she had written it — and then, mid-song, she drew a blank!

--Maybe she was too preoccupied trying to remember her own name.

Tiny Bobbles

How much fun would this be?

Whoopass makes custom bobble head dolls made from your photo. You also get to choose the body style and clothing.

Click here to see some of their work.

Broadway Update

Acting and singing superstar Mandy Moore is considering a starring role in hit Broadway musical Wicked.

The Saved beauty told fans on her official website about her love for the Wizard Of Oz prequel, which has won several theatre awards including three Tonys, since its launch last year.

Moore enthuses, "Wicked is beyond amazing. I've actually seen it twice and was offered the chance to replace Kristin Chenoweth (Glinda) once she leaves the show.

My Kind of Book

I'm SO pumped about the release of this book: Hitchcock Style.

It combines two of my passions: fashion and Hitchcock flicks.

Can you beat that?

Wake Up Call

It's the 27th.

I have the bar exam in exactly one month.

Holy God.

Unlikely Pair

Pianist Ben Folds has pushed back the release date of his upcoming solo album to concentrate on Has Been, a collection by Star Trek star and sometime musician William Shatner (Captain Kirk).

Ben Folds and William Shatner? I think Ben Folds' music is amazing. But William Shatner? Hmmm.

Ick

In love letters to Prince Charles, Camilla Parker Bowles told how she yearned for him and urged her lover to withstand "the onslaughts of that ridiculous creature," his wife, Diana, a newspaper reported Thursday.

--Bad move, Cam. The Brits already hate you. Now you're talking smack about Diana. Not a good idea.

She describes how her "heart and body aches" to be with him. "I yearn to be with you day and night, to hug, comfort and love you," she writes to the man she calls "my most precious darling."

--Sick. Thinking of either of their bodies aching makes me want to vom.

Everybody Loves the F-Bomb

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has blurted out the "F word" at Democratic Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont during a heated exchange on the Senate floor, according to congressional aides.

The incident occurred on Tuesday in a terse discussion between the two that touched on politics, religion and money, with Cheney finally telling Leahy to "f--- off" or "go f--- yourself," the aides said on Thursday.

YES!!!! Glad to see someone else loves the F-bomb as much as I do! Go Dick!

(Yeah, yeah, I know it's unprofessional. But you know some of those guys in Washington have been DYING to say it to each other for YEARS. I say, "Have at it!")

Batter Up!

For the die-hard Cubs fan:

Batter up! :)

I'm Batman?

A distraught father staged a protest from church scaffolding in a desperate attempt to gain contact with his children.

Colin Vallis, 41, from Scarisbrick Street, Ormskirk, spent 10 hours of Father's Day dressed as Batman on scaffolding surrounding Holy Trinity Church in Southport.

The unemployed builder, who is out of work following an accident, has no idea where his son Arel, three, and daughter Sophie, one, are after his ex-partner took them away.

Mr Vallis said: "I was so distraught that I couldn't see my kids. They are very close to me and were just taken away from me. It's totally unjust. Fathers have no rights whatsoever. I feel like I have been kicked to the gutter."

--With these 2 nutjobs as parents, I think these kids would be better off in foster care!

Christmas Present

Get excited, boys:

New mum Denise Richards is reportedly considering an offer to bare all for Playboy this Christmas. The actress wife of reformed Hollywood playboy Charlie Sheen has been approached by bosses at the men's magazine, who want her to strip for their December 2004 issue.

According to insiders, Richards is interested in showing off her sensational post-baby body but has refused a full-nude pictorial.

Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards were released sometime this week. I received a forward with the winning stories (thanks, Jaime). I'll share the winning story with you:

Based on a bet by the other members of his golfing threesome, Everett Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine.

Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the post of the ball washer was more than strong enough to support his body weight, and his sack was the weakest link.

Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.

To add insult to injury, Sanchez then broke a new $300.00 graphite shaft driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was attempting to use as a cane. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course.

This last one wouldn't normally count, because the golfer didn't die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, the committee allowed it.

Judd Lands Lauder Contract

Double Jeopardy star Ashley Judd has landed a lucrative cosmetics deal with beauty giant Estee Lauder.

According to American website Pagesix.Com, the stunning Californian is set to be announced as the spokesmodel of Lauder's latest brand American Beauty today.

Very well-deserving. She's gorgeous, and oozes class, style, and grace.

Those Are Fightin' Words

Brad Pitt has been branded a "wimp" by Hollywood actor Val Kilmer - who claims the Troy star's muscle-bound physique on film posters have been "air-brushed".

Kilmer, 44 - who will appear in rival epic Alexander later this year - has challenged Pitt's widely publicized weight training, claiming his beefy figure was faked. The Batman Forever star says, "I saw those pictures of Brad Pitt, that's all air-brushed in, you know. He's a nice guy but he's a wimp."

I'm not sure I'd provoke Brad--Did Val not see Fight Club?

UPDATE: And in a somewhat-related update, author Chuck Palahniuk may adapt Fight Club into a stage musical that would involve director David Fincher, who turned the 1996 cult book into the 1999 movie.

Movie Songs

AFI's Top 100 Movie Songs has been released. I love movies and I love soundtracks, so I especially enjoyed this one.

While "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is one of my least favorite songs, I can understand why it came in at #1.

Surprising Survey

A recent survey by Europe's Kerang! magazine asked people to name the most important person in rock.

You may be surprised by the results.

Coming in at #2--the Devil. Why? "Because the devil has all the best tunes."

And the #1 person in rock? Sharon Osbourne.

She's Still Got It

After 10 years, Martina Navratilova won a singles match at Wimbledon Monday. Navratilova, who is 47 years old, crushed her opponent 6-0, 6-1 in 47 minutes.

That's awesome! I used to love watching her play when I was growing up (and playing myself). I especially loved watching her strategy during doubles play. Go Martina!

For the Kiddies

Bejewel the family jewels: Today's WTF product

For some odd reason, Urban Outfitters has started selling pubic stencils. I'm having a hard time seeing who would buy these and why. Could someone explain?

He's the Champion

Ben Affleck's been keeping busy since his breakup with J-Lo:

Over the weekend he won the California State Poker Championship.

Skateboarding Pup

Now THAT'S one talented dog!

Where Was I?

1. Where were you when you heard that Ronald Reagan died?
I was at my condo studying. I happened to check my e-mail and click on Foxnews.com, and I saw the headline.

2. Where were you on September 11, 2001?
I was in the reading room of the library at my law school. Someone came to get me and brought me in one of the classrooms. They had pulled down all the screens in the room and were broadcasting CNN live. I walked in the room as the first tower fell.

3. Where were you when you heard that Princess Diana died?
I was a freshman in college. A group of us gals had gone to Wabash for a party and when I got home, my roommate was up watching the news and told me.

4. Do you remember where you were when you heard Kurt Cobain had died?
Nope. Guess that wasn't too significant to me.

5. Take one for The Gipper: What's your favorite flavor of jelly bean?
Pina Colada Jelly Bellys.

6. Where were you when Magic Johnson announced he was retiring from the NBA due to AIDS?
You know, I remember watching it on the news, but I honestly have no idea where I was.

7. Where were you when Reagan was shot?
Don't remember.

8. Where were you when the Challenger exploded?
I was in the cafeteria of my elementary school watching it live.

9. Where were you when the 0J verdict was announced?
I was in AP Calculus class. My teacher had the TV on mute so we could still learn while waiting for the jury to come back. When we saw them return, we held our breath and after they announced it almost everyone in the room went, "WHAT???"

Questions taken from Pisces Peach.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all those dads out there.

Here's what I got my dad. It was delivered a few days ago and he emailed and said he really likes it.

Blogging

I'm off to drive to northern Indiana for my great aunt's funeral. As a result, blogging will be light today.

Good thing I have my bar review CD's to keep me company on the 2 1/2 hour drive both ways.

What she said

The Queen of All Evil wrapped up my sentiments of yesterday's news perfectly.

You've got to move it, move it

I'm not sure what to even call this...

From what looks like a cheerleading video, laugh your ass off and watch Travis dance to some bumpin' music.

Divine Idol?

The management company that represents Britney Spears (search) and 'N Sync is searching for a divine voice.

"Gifted," a Christian version of the popular American Idol TV show, is scheduled to debut in October on Trinity Broadcasting Network, the Costa Mesa, Calif.-based conglomerate that features such well-known evangelists as Benny Hinn.

Something their replacement for Simon won't be nearly as entertaining.

Who's the Harriest of them all?

British women are the least hairy in Europe.

But their German counterparts are the hairiest, according to a survey by razor manufacturer Wilkinson.

A Europe-wide study from the company looked at the hair-removal habits of 1,000 women.

The survey found British girls are the ones who undertake the most hair removal, with more than 93% saying they use razors before wearing skirts and shorts for the summer.

Germans fell way behind with just 40% saying they regularly shaved. This however shows an improvement of seven per cent from studies carried out two years ago.

Spanish women ranked just behind the British with 82% preferring the smooth to the natural look. French and Italian ladies lay in the middle - but with more shaving than not.

Are you joking me?

I'm sorry...but what the HELL is THIS all about?

Celebrity Yearbook

In honor of Father's Day (this Sunday) can you name these celebrity dads from their yearbook photos?

UGGS

As if the UGG boots weren't bad enough, we now have more UGGly things to choose from. Newly hot in the stores: UGG handbags.

I Scream You Scream

Because inquiring minds want to know...

Ice cream can make you scream if you get headaches when you eat it.

According to the University of Guelph's ice cream Web site, when something cold connects with the roof of your mouth, the nerve bundle located there panics and tries to heat your brain by sending a message to dilate blood vessels in the head. Voilà! Headache.

On the Rocks?

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's life used to look like wedded bliss. The pop-music couple seemed perfectly matched on the first two seasons of the MTV hit "Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica."

But in the reality show's third season, which starts tomorrow, it looks like there's some trouble in paradise.

You can read the article for the scoop, but I'll leave you with this little interchage between the two of them from the upcoming season:

"You always opened doors for me when we first got married," she says.

"Well, when we first got married," he says, "I was getting laid."

Great--we get to see more of her

Kelly Ripa signed a new contract to continue as cohost of Live with Regis and Kelly. No word how much she'll be paid.

Does anyone else find her utterly annoying?

Money, Money, Money

Beyonce Knowles, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Angelina Jolie are debutantes on the new Forbes Magazine Celebrity 100 list, while Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have fallen out of the top 10 and off the annual survey.

Jolie almost makes it into the top 10, with her $27 million fortune, while Knowles debuts at number 19 with $23 million and Zeta- Jones enters the list at number 56 with $18 million. J.Lo and Affleck, who were fifth and seventh on the 2003 list, fail to make this year's rundown.

Meanwhile, Jim Carrey moves up five places to number 15, and is credited with being the highest paid actor on the list. The Forbes Celebrity 100 list is made up of the stars' personal fortunes and their public interest.

Is anyone else a bit shocked by this? Jolie over Beyonce? Jim Carrey the highest paid actor?

Jagger's Joint

Singer Lenny Kravitz says he kept a marijuana joint he'd shared with Mick Jagger, for a year as a tribute.

Kravitz said he'd kept the joint because he was such a fan of the Rolling Stones frontman.

However, the remainder of the valued souvenir went up in smoke a year later after he ran out of dope.

Priorities--keep the souvenir or satisfy the fix? We knew which one you would choose, Lenny.

Don't Cry Over Rotten Dumplings

The head of a food company jumped to his death after a government investigation found that his company sold dumplings made with rotten ingredients, police said Monday.

Guess he takes his job seriously.

Fix It Tip

Nothing says summer better than a crisp, white cotton blouse (or men's dress shirt). The odds that your light-colored clothes will survive the day unbesmirched? Slim to none.

Try a this tip: Carry a big, white gummy eraser in your bag. Just like it does paper, it'll erase dirt and cinder markings from your clothes. The bigger the better, since a good grip is essential.

Consider this a quick, easy, and, best of all, portable way to keep your dry-cleaning bills to a minimum. Dash off to your nearest Office Max and pick up a few!

Better Late Than Never?

Noel Carino ran for the Philippine House of Representatives in 2001, but it took him three years to be declared the winner - just in time for him to enjoy his office for one day as Congress ended its session Friday.

Carino, a businessman, lost the 2001 elections in an initial tally, but a recount later showed he won by 2,000 votes. His opponent, however, appealed to the Supreme Court.

On Thursday, the court ruled in Carino's favor, and he was sworn in Friday, Congress's last working day.
-------------------
Are you kidding me? And I thought Florida had vote-counting issues.

Scent of Spears

Pop star Britney Spears is a new crossover artist in the beauty business. The 22-year-old singer will launch a new fragrance, Curious, this fall.

A blend of white flowers and vanilla-infused musk, the fragrance is part of a licensing agreement with Elizabeth Arden, the company announced Thursday.

Packaging for Curious will feature two of Spears' favorite colors, pink and azure blue, and the bottle will be azure with heart-shaped charms.

Gag.

You Likey?

What do you all think of the new look of Foxnews.com?

It looks kinda cool, but it doesn't seem to user-friendly.

6FU

Well, we now have to wait over a year for more Sopranos episodes.

But, we have something to tide us over: the new season of Six Feet Under. If you haven't watched in the past, now is a great time to start. It's well worth it.

In honor of the premiere tonight, here is an interesting article on the making of the corpses for the show.

Creepers

I bet Lynne Cheney wanted to switch seats:

They Wish

Clever kids:

Parents opened their mailboxes to find an official-looking letter offering birth control - and motel rooms - for the upcoming senior prom.

The letter, an apparent end-of-the-year prank, described a "Protection Package" of "very specific birth control items," including condoms, Ross said.

It also stated that "a number of rooms will be made available" for interested students at the Inn at East Wind in Wading River, where the prom is to be held June 23.

Ha!

Got Spirit?

Josh's recent post on lists, prompted me to find some of the more obscure ones.

Here's the Top 100 Spiritually Significant Films.

I have to disagree with: Groundhog Day and Fight Club.

What I love

The top #4 things I'm loving most about my condo right now:

4) A garage--I'm sure I'll be loving this even more when I don't have to scrape off my car this winter.

3) A refrigerator where water and ice come out the front of it.

2) SPACE! God, I had no room before.

1) Soft water--it's seriously the bomb. No hard water spots on my wine glasses. Softer hair and skin. Love it!

Carb Craze Never Ends

Back in April, I penned this post introducing you to the new low-carb Coke.

I figured it wouldn't sell well, and we'd never hear about it again. I was wrong.

McDonald's Corp., the No .1 fast-food chain that's been on a mission to its revamp its image, said it will offer Coca-Cola's new low-carb "C2" cola in a limited number of its restaurants.

McDonald's announced late Thursday that the company is sampling C2 in about 27 restaurants in five markets, including Atlanta, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and Orlando.

Hooters Air

Hooters in da hood:

Hooters Air of America started service from Gary/Chicago International Airport to Myrtle Beach, S.C., today.

Random Website

Random website of the day: The Museum of Funeral Customs

Where else can you learn embalming, pall bearers, and the tradition of placing coins on a dead person's eyes?

Goodbye, Mr. Charles

Ray Charles, the Grammy-winning crooner who blended gospel and blues in such crowd-pleasers as "What'd I Say" and heartfelt ballads like "Georgia on My Mind," died Thursday, a spokesman said. He was 73.

Talented doesn't even begin to describe this man. I love his version of "Georgia on My Mind." I remember when he sang it in the opening credits of "Designing Women."

He is a legend.

Stay Away

Since it's swimsuit season, here's 10 foods you should never eat.

Oh, how I'll miss these:

Mental stimulation

A German sociologist Werner Habermehl says regular sex can help university students pass exams and get better grades.

They found that regular sexual activity significantly increased mental capability, but they found celibate students found it harder to make the grade.

So, all you crazy sex-fiends out there--now there is NO excuse for your poor performance in college! ;) (Although, they didn't say what sex and excessive drinking will do for your grades).

Law and Order--the show that will never end

Because we need yet another Law & Order version...

Candice Bergen and Frasier dad John Mahoney are close to signing on as the stars of NBC's latest Law & Order spinoff, Law & Order: Trial by Jury. Jerry Orbach, who recently left his role as Lenny Briscoe on the original L&O series, is also expected to star in Trial by Jury.

Note to self

Note to self:

Changing in front of the window to go workout is a bad idea. You have a condo now, and you never know when the little mower men will be outside.

Thank you, self.

Shittin' in style

The Wall Street Journal reports that Toto has introduced its deluxe Neorest toilet.

Features include seats that can be set to rise automatically via sensors on the side, so users don't have to touch the toilet. The toilet also has a wireless remote to raise or lower the seat. It has deodorizer, a warm-air dryer and water temperature, pressure and massaging options.

The sensors and remote I could dig. But the dryer and massaging options would weird me out.

Lead Foot

For those of you who have a lead foot (like I do), here are some tips from Maxim on how to avoid getting caught.

Chalupa Up In Ya Face

A man who claimed he didn't get the taco he paid for has been charged with assault for allegedly pelting a Taco Bell clerk in the face with a chalupa.

Harrison said she told him the store was closing, and as she turned away, a chalupa hit her in the face near her right eye. She said she ran into the parking lot and took down the license number as the motorist was driving away.

I guess this man takes his Taco Bell very seriously.

Oh the humanity

Max Miesel didn't get very far with his prom date -- who's a porn star.

Max won a date with adult film actress Tyler Faith on Howard Stern's show Friday. Max is a student at Connecticut's Weston High School. The Advocate of Stamford, Conn., reported school officials and Max's parents stepped in before Saturday's prom.

I guess little Max was stuck watching porn on video--instead of living it.

Fashion Icon

Audrey Hepburn. Lauren Bacall. Diana Vreeland. And now, Sarah Jessica Parker.

Last night, she was crowned a "fashion icon" by Council of Fashion Designers of America -- a rarely awarded honor that was bestowed during the gala event known as the Fashion Oscars.

I think this award is well-deserving. SJP took her character's own flamboyant style and meshed it together with her own. Time and again, she's shown her fashion know-how, versatility, and creativity.

If you were a bettin' man...

British bookmakers Ladbrokes have given the marriage of Marc Anthony and J-Lo just 3-1 odds of surviving until the end of the year and 10-1 odds that Lopez will marry more than eight times in her life, topping Elizabeth Taylor.

Drunky Drunky

David Hasselhoff was arrested over the weekend on suspicion on driving while intoxicated, police said Monday.

Too bad he didn't have KITT to drive for him.

I Was Wrong

I can admit it when I'm wrong. I was wrong twice yesterday:

1) I didn't think "Avenue Q" would pull off the upset victory over "Wicked" at the Tony Awards. (I got every single one of my other picks right though).

2) As for "The Sopranos," I didn't think they'd whack Tony B. until after the hiatus. I wasn't too impressed with the episode. What did you all think?

Major Dilemma

A Tale of Two Tony's...

I'm TORN!

Everyone who knows me knows I NEVER miss watching the Tony Awards. But it's also the finale of "The Sopranos."

What's a girl to do?

I guess it's good I have 2 TV's.

Ronald Reagan Dies

I'm sure other, much more politically-minded, and intelligent bloggers will write some great posts on the Reagan legacy. I'll leave that to them.

My grandfather taught me a little about Reagan. At the time though, I was too young to really care. My grandfather worked on Reagan's national campaigns, and Reagan appointed my grandfather Commissioner of the International Joint Commission, a treaty organization tasked with resolving and preventing problems between the United States and Canada.

My grandfather had nothing but praise for Ronald Reagan--especially as a person. To me, that's what matters most.

Rest in peace, Mr. President.

Below is my favorite pic of Ronald Reagan. My grandfather had this picture up in his home, with a nice note from Reagan handwritten below. It now hangs in my dad's office at home.

OJ Weighs In

This just in:

O.J. Simpson believes Michael Jackson and Kobe Bryant are innocent.

Go figure.

Vain

You have to be pretty ballsy to wear this:

The A-B-C's of the Beatles

Beatles A-Z: Every Beatles song listed in alphabetical order.

No Respect

Twin actresses Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's desperate pleas for separate stars on the legendary Walk Of Fame were ignored by Hollywood bosses, forcing them to unveil the single landmark together.

The 17-year-old multi-millionaires want to be recognized as individuals.

I think that would kinda be annoying.

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

Kelly Osbourne isn't one to suffocate her emotions, so the fact that she has admitted to using black magic on Christina Aguilera really comes as no shock. The Mirror reports that the daughter of darkness keeps a voodoo doll of Aguilera in her dressing room.

"Kelly's obsessed with this doll," says the Mirror's source. "She calls it her Christina doll and every now and again she sticks a pin into it. She also stomps all over it then bursts into fits of laughter."

Ananova.com reports that Osbourne said, "Everyone I know hates Christina. I've know her since I was 10 and she's been horrible her whole life." And a source close to both speculates, "The next time they see each other they'll probably batter each other senseless."

Lovin' and Leavin'

Lots of couplings and break-ups in Hollywood lately:

"The Girl Next Door" beauty Elisha Cuthbert is celebrating after becoming engaged to her boyfriend Trace Ayala, a personal assistant to pop star Justin Timberlake.

Dennis Quaid is heading up the aisle again after proposing to girlfriend Kimberly Buffington. The movie star, who was previously married to "When Harry Met Sally" star Meg Ryan, met the Texas- based real estate manager last year when Quaid played a gig with his rock band The Sharks in Austin.

Marc Anthony is free to become the third Mr. Jennifer Lopez, after a judge in the Dominican Republic approved his divorce from former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres on Tuesday. Latin singer Anthony must pay Torres $3,500 a month in alimony, plus $13,000 a month to support their children Cristian, three and nine- month-old Ryan.

Former Friends star David Schwimmer is single again - after splitting from New York rock babe Gina Lee. Schwimmer, 37, started dating singer and former model Lee, 26, in January after ending his long-term relationship with Carla Alapont at Christmas.

Bruce Willis and his girlfriend of 10 months, Brooke Burns, have split. Sources tell America's People magazine that the couple decided to end their romance because they were struggling to spend time together.

Reliability

The people delivering my bedroom furniture were supposed to be here from 10-1.

They showed up at 5:30.

Annoying.

Indy Bling

The hottest new trend: area code necklaces. Can you see me sporting a massive 317 pendant on a chain? Can't say I'm liking this new "in" style. Available in gold or silver.

Generic Names for Soft Drinks

Today's random website: Generic names for softdrinks divided up geographically.

Here's Indiana.

Overkill?

Oscar-winning couple Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas have spent an astonishing $6.35 million on a bullet-proof dream home in Wales.

The extraordinary house has a 70 foot penthouse for their children Dylan and Carys, bullet-proof windows, hot tub, library, gym and a copper- topped balcony imported from America at a cost of $72,500.

What are they so paranoid about?

More Lexicon Fun

Got another email from my friend in NYC with the latest buzzphrases:

Biphonal
adj. Holding multiple phones to your ears or in front of you at the same time.

Doggerel
n. A girl who bears an unmistakable resemblance to her dog.

Drimming
v. Drunk instant-messaging.

HIT
n. Homosexual-in-training. He may not know it yet, but everyone else does.

Lush Flush
n. The rosy hue one gets in her cheeks after a few too many glasses of wine.

Me-Jane
n. Someone who has obviously misused an animal prints for some crucial part of her outfit. ("What is that me-Jane thinking with that giraffe-print tank top?")

PST
n. Acronym. Code for "poppy seed in teeth" or "piece of sh-t in teeth." Pronounced "pssst" so as not to alert everyone else at the table.

Reverse Evolution Princes
n. Men who at first seem to be princes but turn out to be frogs.

LOVE THEM! :)

I Miss You, Paris

Ahhh. My heart yearns for this place. Such a beautiful sight at night.

NO Sex for You!

Italy's soccer squad can have sex with their wives or girlfriends during the Euro 2004 finals - but only for one hour in the evenings.

But if they reach the quarter-finals, partners will be allowed to visit for a whole day, said coach Giovanni Trapattoni.

Maybe Rick Carlisle ought to do that to the Pacers so they'll get their heads out of their asses and beat Detroit tonight!