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« How Wonderful | Main | McBattery »


February 04, 2005

Stick THAT in Your Pipe and Smoke It

And in the dysfunctional world of the Osbournes...

Biting the head off of a bat is only the tip of the iceberg as far as Ozzy Osbourne’s wacky exploits are concerned. The heavy metal singer shares some of his less-legendary but just-as-strange stories of debauchery in the upcoming FHM, including the saga of “The Ass Tobacco.”

Ozzy says, years ago, he used to keep a pouch of tobacco by the side of his bed so he could roll his own cigarettes as soon as he woke up in the morning.

One night, he and his wife, Sharon, were up to some hanky panky and, unknowingly, he tipped the tobacco in between the sheets while they were rolling around.

When Ozzy woke up the next morning, he saw a splotch of tobacco on Sharon’s heinie and thought, as he puts it, “she had shat the bed!”

Eventually, he realized it was his beloved tobacco, so he peeled it off of her rump, rolled it up and smoked it.


Posted by Lawren at February 4, 2005 05:59 AM

You Said

In "The Dirt," Vince Neil tells a story about when they were touring together many years ago - I think Motley was the opening act for Ozzy - and Ozzy was at the hotel pool, look a leak on the concrete in front of everyone, including women and children, then got on all fours and lapped it up. Then he looked over at Vince and Tommy Lee and said, "If you think you're a crazy fucker like me, let's see you do that." They realized then that Ozzy is the king of crazy (I might use the word stupid) stunts.

Says: Iceman at February 4, 2005 09:23 AM

I believe that all fine tobaccos are cured this way...

Says: Sisyphus at February 4, 2005 01:21 PM

Indeed...the finest cigars in the world are rolled on the moist firm thighs of young Cuban girls

Says: Shillelagh at February 4, 2005 02:53 PM

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